Snippitts of Illusions

Prometheus

Ridley Scott returns to his roots in the film Prometheus. Alien was Mr. Scott's second feature film and portrays the mining ship Nostromos' last days after answering a distress beacon and taking aboard an alien life form that terrorizes the crew until the last survivor Ripley is able to escape. Prometheus returns to that future, though not quite, set 30 years before Alien, Prometheus sets off to answer the question who made humanity and just what was the iconic space jockey.

Prometheus starts with a bizarre scene where a white/grayish human like individual drinks a black liquid from a fancy cup and then disintegrates  Falling down into a pool in a waterfall his massive DNA begins to recombine and reform creating a new life form. Fast forward to the year 2089 two archeologists, Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) and Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall-Green) discover a carving inside a cave on the Isle of Sky depicting a giant pointing to a cluster of scars. Fast forward to 2093 we see the android David, who's been active and monitoring the humans aboard the spaceship Prometheus for the last 2 1/2 years until their arrival to the planet designated LV-233. It's here they believe the giant in the carvings was pointing, and it's here they hope to find answers.

The venture is funded by the Weyland corporation and Peter Weyland (Guy Pierce). A representative from the company, Meredith Vickers, is aboard to make sure the scientist and free-booters don't ruin any potential profits that might come from this expedition.

The ship, piloted by Janek (Idris Elba) is put down on the planet near what looks to be an artificial structure. A team is assemble and is soon exploring the monolith. If all this seems familiar it's because it is. It's something that many films have done: the exploration of an ancient ruin/ship/facility and Prometheus isn't particularly note-worthy on it's handling of the genre cliche. The exploration team goes in, discovers tunnels that will replay moments in the last residents history (something the film never fully explains) as well as a large chamber filled with canisters and a massive stone head  and a strange mural on the cieling. In this chamber there's the remains of one of the giant alien creatures that built this facility decapitated. They bring the head back to the ship for testing. During all this exploration two of the company Fifield the geologist (Sean Harris) and Milburn the biologist (Rafe Spall) get lost and are unable to return to the ship when a storm rolls in that makes being outside lethal. (Not of that is particullarly surprising).

The film plays out as you would expect, David the android "turns" on the humans, using Charlie to experiment with the black liquid in the canister who then become sick and is killed by Vickers. He also goes off on his own while a rescue party is sent for Fifield and Milburn, who were killed by an alien life form in the ruin, and discovers the intact remains of a ship and one of the "Engineers" that apparently share an exact DNA match with humans. Weyland is revealed to be on the ship and only wants to meet the aliens so that they can make him immortal. When that meeting happens the alien kills everybody but Elizabeth who manages to escape, despite have had a massive medical procedure done just 12 hours earlier to remove what appears to have been an squid from her abdomen which was the result of having sex with the infected Holloway just a day earlier. The formula continues David reveals that the Engineer is likely headed towards earth. Elizabeth convinces Janek to sacrifice himself and the ship to take out the alien ship. Janek and his remaining crew ram the escaping alien ship destroying the Prometheus in the process. Elizabeth surviving all of this is attacked by the Engineer and her (now giant) alien baby aboard the "life boat" of the ship (which was left for Vickers who's crushed by the resulting crash of the alien ship and the Prometheus). Elizabeth survives, goes to gather up the remains of David and seek out other ships. The end of the film shows a ship leaving, presumably with David and Elizabeth on board.

If it seems like I'm tired of this film, that's not quite true. It's just this movie with this director had a lot to live up too. Alien is still, as I said above, an amazing movie, a true horror classic. Prometheus doesn't try and sell itself as a straight horror film, but it does try and tie itself into that mindset of Alien. Watching the T.V. promos and trailers indicate at least that much. On top of it the philosophical questions it persues and answers in the film are not particularly engaging. Of course the Engineers are going to be result of humanity. I knew that just from the trailers. I'm more interested in why the Engineers created humanity and why they seek to destroy it more over how they are involved with the xenomorphs from the Alien franchise. Scott doesn't answer those questions. He leaves them open for a sequel and it appears that it's likely to happen.

If all that above echoes what many other reviewers have said about this film, sadly it's true. It is predictable, it's formulaic, it doesn't try to buck anything or create new ground. Ridley Scott is coming back to a genre he helped create and not bringing anything new to the table. I think that's what we the film-goers were expecting. Were craving. Alien is such a fantastic film. It's intense. There's a sense of claustrophobia and paranoia in that film that has been hard to duplicate since then and very few movies that fall into this style of sci-fi horror are able to pull it off as well as Alien did. Is it unfair to compare Prometheus to Alien? I don't think so. Not when it's the same director in the same vein as that film. That's why people are disappointed I think.

Now is the film terrible? Not at all. In fact despite some disappointment I actually really like the movie and I'm likely to pick it up for my collection. It's not a cinematic tour-de-force, but it's a gorgeous movie and worth watching, and quite frankly I hope they do make a sequel. It's a universe I'd love to visit again and again. So while the movie was a bit of a let down and somewhat formulaic, if you love science fiction, and more importantly if you love beautiful science fiction you owe it too yourself to at least give it a view.

Labels: Movie Reviews, Ridley Scott

posted by F.G. Shaw @ 8:08 PM 0 comments

An Unexpected Review

I got the opportunity to attend The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey yesterday evening at an early showing of the film on December 13th. I'd like to give you all a little review.

Most of us, even the most anti-literate of us, are familiar with the Hobbit, even if it's just in passing or from hearing about it after having seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy. This little novel (it's just a little over 300 pages long) was the first foray into Middle Earth and tells the tale of a little hobbit by the name of Bilbo Baggins and his journey with 13 dwarves and an old wizard to take back their underground fortress from a hideous dragon.

That sums up the plot up nicely. Tolkien wrote the book as a fairy tale to tell his children. He then went and tweaked a few things and referenced it heavily in Lord of the Rings tying to the two books together. To look at the novel as a prologue to LotR's is incorrect, just as looking at LotR's as a sequel to this one is incorrect. They take place in the same world and have some of the same characters but both stories are very different in nature. LotR's is a dark tale. There's a weight about the story itself that is hard to overcome. The Hobbit is light hearted. Even it's darkest moments have a bit of whimsy about them. The film is no different.

Peter Jackson, who is a film maker I quite like has taken us back to the magical land of Middle Earth in this film and while it's certainly far from perfect it is a damned good time.

The movie opens with a Bilbo setting pen to paper and relating the history of The Lonely Mountain, the dwarven kingdom of Erebor's fall and the descent of the clan of Thror into wanderers with out a home. Visually this opening is incredible. The kingdom of Erebor is amazing to look upon and all I can say is "THAT'S what a dwarven city looks like!" The film then cuts back to the time period just before LotR's takes place and we see Bilbo and Frodo discussing his party and Bilbo reflecting on his past, the adventures that led him to where his life has ended up. Then the movie slides into a flashback and we see a young Bilbo (played by Martin Freeman) enjoying a smoke on his bench being suddenly interrupted by Gandalf (by the superior Ian McKellen).  From here the story is set in motion.

Bilbo is inundated with dwarves that night, and much to his flabbergasted chagrin, they keep coming. Taking over his house they raid his pantry and make themselves more than at home, settling in with games that involve throwing his dishes and singing songs. Soon Gandalf arrives, and shortly afterwards it's Thorin Oakenshield (Richard Armitage), who is the leader and the grandson of the original king under the mountain.

Thorin lays out his quest to Bilbo, and the other dwarves it's here that Bilbo discovers he is to be the burglar in the party. Bilbo rejects the offer, and as the dwarves sing a solemn song Bilbo drifts to sleep. Early the next morning Bilbo regrets his decisions and runs out the door to catch up with the dwarves.

From here the adventure begins. Bilbo soon discovers the road life is a little tougher than he anticipated. We are treated to a montage of the group travelling through forest and swamp, over hill and dale. We see a flashback about how Thorin received the name Oakenshield and are introduced to the trilogies primary antagonist Azog, the pale orc (played by Manu Bennett). The group encounter a small trio of trolls and we see that they are being hunted by orcs. Gandalf also waxes poetical about wizards and we are introduced to Radagast the Brown (Sylvester McCoy) a wizard of Gandalf's order that lives in the wilderness and is friends to animals, even riding a sled pulled by large rabbits. Radagast has discovered that there's some evil infecting Mirkwood, and comes to Gandalf with this information. Giving him a sword that had been sealed away centuries ago. Soon the party is chased and hounded by a group of orcs and Gandalf leads them to the elven outpost of Rivendell to escape. The dwarves, who are bitter towards the elves when they turned their back on the dwarves during the invasion of Smaug, are given comfort and amenities by Elrond (Hugo Weaving) and the elves of Rivendell.

In Rivendell we find Sauruman and Galadriel have arrived to speak with Gandalf. He warns the two of them of  the shadow in the forest. Saruman dismisses him while Galadriel heeds his warning. The dwarves leave Rivendell during this meeting under the cover of moonlight, knowing that Elrond and Saruman don't agree with their journey to the Lonely Mountain. In the mountains they endure inclement weather and the mountains themselves come to life, turning into giants that hurdle boulders and fistfight one another. In order to escape this insanity the group hide in a cave hoping to set out again during the morning.

While in the cave Bilbo comes to a decision  after being looked down upon by the dwarves (and particularly Thorin) he makes to set off back home. He's stopped by Bofur who tries to convince him to stay. Bilbo points out to the dwarf that he's not cut out for life on the road because unlike the dwarves he has a place to call his own. Bofur looks to be set to let Bilbo go when the floor of the cave gives out beneath them and they are revealed to have been laying on a trap.

The pit leads to a huge underground complex controlled by goblins. The goblins quickly round up the dwarves but Bilbo manages, for a moment to slip away. He's attacked by a goblin and the two of them tumble down a ledge deeper into the caverns. Bilbo survives, the goblin.. well he survives too but not for long.

The dwarves are brought to the Great Goblin, a large corpulent beast of thing with an almost sonorous voice (provided by Barry Humphries). He at firsts hints that the dwarves will endure enslavement (then perhaps be the focus of a meal) until he discovers Thorin's sword Ocrist (which he found in the lair of the trolls) which was used by the elves in the first age to kill many goblins, then decides to kill the dwarves outright. They are only saved by the timely arrival of Gandalf who leads an escape of the dwarves and kills the Great Goblin int he process.

Bilbo meanwhile meets Gollum (Andy Serkis reprising his role from Lord of the Rings). Gollum takes the goblin who fell with Bilbo (not seeing the hobbit) and drags him to an island in the center of his underground lake and kills him. While Gollum takes care of the goblin, Bilbo discovers a plain gold ring that Gollum had dropped, he slips it in his pocket and goes to spy on the creature. Gollum soon discovers Bilbo who draws his sword on the pitiful creature to keep him at bay. Gollum, proposes they play a game of riddles, if Bilbo wins Gollum will show him the way out, and if Gollum wins then he gets to eat Bilbo. After trading a few riddles Bilbo absent mindedly asks the question "What have I got in my pocket?" Taking this to be another riddle Gollum flies into a rage and goes to put the ring on he discovers its missing and attacks Bilbo who ends up with the ring on his finger. Bilbo follows Gollum and discovers the exit just as the dwarves are leaving. He rejoins them and soon they regroup with Gandalf and Thorin leading the way. Giving the party no time to rest.

They are finally confronted at night by Azog, the mysterious white orc that Thorin thought he had killed so many years ago. The attack against the dwarves looks grim and even Bilbo stands fast and brave against the small war party of orcs. The group is saved in the nick of time by Great Eagles the Gandalf summons. They are deposited on a high crag where Thorin admits he was wrong about Bilbo and welcomes him into the group as an equal. Here's where the movie ends, with the party looking down into the Mirkwood and the next leg of their trek.

The movie is long. This may be the first criticism leveled against it. There's scenes that go on long past the point they should (the mountain giants fighting and the chase through the goblin underground being the two prime examples) even others that might go on a bit despite being admittedly fun (the party at Bilbo's near the beginning of the film). That being said perhaps only about 10 or 15 minutes could be realistically shaved off the film with out ruining its sense of fun.

The second point of criticism is that for the most part the dwarves were just bodies. There are certainly a few that get a lot of characterization: Thorin of course, Bofur has a lot of character come out as well as Dwalin (Graham McTavish) who is the first dwarf to arrive at Bilbo's house and Dori (Mark Hadlow) who is the second to arrive and tells the story of how Thorin got his name. The rest are given only a few moments to make something of their character which otherwise get's no play (and nearly no dialogue). This is a criticism that can be leveled at the book as well. The dwarves do get fleshed out a bit more in the film that Tolkien did in his book, only because we have strong visual ques to keep each of them separate.

There's also a lot of stuff that's not in the book. This isn't as egregious as I think it could be. A majority of the extra material does come from sources like the Appendices to the Lord of the Rings, the Unfinished Tales, and the Simarillion. Of course Jackson and Co do make up a lot of it as well and some of the interpretations are of course very unique. This being said, most of the added material actually does add to the narrative and makes the story fairly robust.

Even though the novel wasn't a prelude to Lord of the Rings (strictly speaking) the film very much is. It's set up that way and the fact that it's told in flashback (and presumably being written down in the manner in which it is told) lends a certain over the top epicness that for the most part the Lord of the Rings doesn't have (save the deus ex Gandalf scenes). It doesn't feel like Lord of the Rings, which is a criticism that I've seen leveled at this film time and time again. It's true it doesn't. We get a more fleshed out world here than we did in Lord of the Rings. As strange as it is to say, it's true, one thing that Lord of the Rings lacked was a feeling that there was a greater middle earth outside the path that the main characters took. This movie gives us that from the get go. It's also more fun than Lord of the Rings. It's supposed to be. It's based off a children's story. Lord of the Rings, for as much as I love it, is a very depressing tale and even the ending (where good triumphs over evil) is tragic. The Hobbit is fun and that's refreshing.

So while the film might be long, lack strong characterization for most of its characters and take some tremendous liberties with the source materials the bottom line is it's a fun movie and definitely worth seeing in the theaters.

I can't wait for the next one.

Labels: Movie Reviews

posted by F.G. Shaw @ 6:45 PM 0 comments

Goals not fulfilled.

There is no way I'm going to finish all 15 movie reviews by the 31st of this month. Part of it is I insist on watching each film before I review. I've made a list and on that list roughly half the movies are ones that I've already seen. Of those I've reviewed exactly 0. Everything I've reviewed so far are things I haven't seen, though some I've seen clips large or small of. Now it's not that it wasn't possible. In fact the writing of the reviews at times easier than actually taking the time to watch the movie. So of the movies I've already watched (most of which I own), why don't I just review them? Because I would feel dishonest. I don't have a problem lying necessarily but I want to be at least somewhat honest to those few folks who read. Sure I've seen the movies, but it's been a year or two since I watched most of them and my mind is shaky. Besides watching the movie again will remind me why I liked or hated it and it would be considerably easier to comment on. Right now I still have nine movies to watch. I could watch 3 today and two on Tuesday and two on Wednesday, of course I'd still have two, but who am I kidding? I don't feel like watching movies after work most days. Which leaves me with my days off.

That said I plan on finishing this project, I'm giving myself one more week, which is to say the 4th of November. After that I'm going to go back to posting my randomness, but I will continue with my movie reviews. Specifically I'm going to take one director each month and take a look at a few of his movies. Not less than three, not more than five. To start it will be favorite director's but I'll soon branch out into those I haven't heard of before and those that are a bit more obscure. It should be fun!

Labels: Movie Reviews, Personal

posted by F.G. Shaw @ 4:22 AM 0 comments

The Clinic.

I like foreign films. In fact one of the reasons I initially signed up with NetFlix was to watch foreign movies I couldn't rent at the video store, and that's saying something because Logan, where I lived when I signed up for the service, had a couple places that had great selections of foreign movies. It shouldn't be any surprise then that several of the horror films that I've reviewed and will be reviewing are foreign. 

Labels: Movie Reviews

posted by F.G. Shaw @ 4:07 AM 0 comments

The Human Centipede: First Sequence.

There's a certain edge to a lot of horror movies that come out these days. I'm not sure exactly when this trend started, but I'm likely to point to foreign cinema, either Japanese horror like Audition, or French Extreme like High Tension or  Irreversible. American horror cinema caught on, or at least caught on again with films like Hostel, Saw and a handful of remakes like Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Hills Have Eyes. There seems to be an attitude among filmmakers of the extreme gore, and body horror genre's to out do one another. This has always been the case it seems: Cannibal Holocaust was so incendiary that the film makers had to produce all the actors of the movie to a court to prove they hadn't made a snuff film. I Spit On Your Grave was banned in several countries. Both of those movies were made in the 70's, and both are still pretty shocking (though not as shocking as a lot of films that come out now). Horror movie fans have become desensitized to the violence and gore. Japanese gorefests revel in it. While American torture porn rapes your mind and French extreme rapes your soul. So in order to get underneath the skin of the horror audience a film has to be pretty shocking or out there.

The Human Centipede does it. Sort of. It's a very different idea to the body horror, but not so different that it's unrecognizable as part of that genre of horror.

The movie opens with Dr. Heiter (Dieter Lasser) sitting in his car waiting for something. He cries quietly over a few photographs of what looks like three dogs sniffing each others asses. Soon a truck driver pulls over and walks out into the bushes to do his business  Dr. Heiter follows the trucker with a tranquilizer gun.

Now we cut to Lindsey (Ashley C. Williams) and Jenny (Ashlynn Yennie) as they discuss their plans to hook up with a cute waiter that night at a club. The duo set off and are soon lost on a remote road and get a flat tire. With out cell phone reception and apparently not even the rudimentary mechanical skills to change a tire they set off into the woods to find help. They soon find a house out in the woods belonging to non-other than Dr. Heiter. He invites them in begrudgingly and bids them to sit. He pretends to call help for them while  he administers roofies via two glasses of water. Lindsey spills hers, this pisses the good Doctor off and he goes downstairs to get a towel. And a syringe full of drugs.

When the girls wake up they find themselves strapped to hospital beds. The trucker it turns out is the wrong blood type and is quickly put out of his misery by the good Doc and replaced by an angry Japanese man named Katsuro (Akihiro Kitamura), it's at this point that the Doc explains that he's going to severe all the tendons in their knees, pull the teeth and gums out of two of them, and sew them all together ass to mouth using flaps of muscle from one persons ass as a graft to the face of the person behind them. Not surprisingly this doesn't sit well with the group.

When the good Doc goes to give each anesthesia so he can start the surgery Lindsay escapes. She finds herself locked in the house and after some struggling finally manages to lock herself in the Doctor's bedroom. He goes around to an outside window and breaks it, causing her to flee to his indoor swimming pool. They seem at an impasse despite him carrying a tranquilizer gun. He closes the pool on her, but just before it seals shut the breaker kicks off and he leaves to deal with that. Lindsay takes this opportunity to go and rescue Jenny, dragging her through the basement, up the stairs and out the broken window before Heiter reappears and shoots her with a tranquilizer dart.

Now we have a short montage of the surgery. While there's certainly some gore in this film, it manages to not be extremely gory. There is blood here and there, and this montage is no exception, but the film doesn't really revel in the gore, and you'd almost expect it to. After the surgery and an indeterminate amount of recovery time, Dr. Heiter revives his new pet: The Human Centipede. The girls weep inconsolably while Katsuro swears vengeance on the good Doc. Heiter takes his time teaching the trio to walk, trying to convince them to fetch his paper and promising them that he's going to another surgery to remove their vocal chords as their constant weeping and yelling is keeping him from sleeping.

While examining the trio in his lab/operating room two detectives arrive to ask the Doc about missing people in the area. Seems there's been a lot lately and the Doc, being a creepy-ass retired surgeon, is on the list of people to talk to. Especially after a neighbor heard screaming in English coming from his property in the not too distance past. The Doc tries drug the cops. He only succeeds in drugging the first one and goes to the basement for a syringe as he did earlier in the film. While down in his lab to prepare the syringe he tells the trio that there will soon be four of them he's going to use the detectives to replace Jenny, she has an infection and is dying. His syringe is discovered and he tries to cover it up by claiming that it's penicillin. The detectives, skeptical,  would like to explore the house a little more. Dr. Heiter refuses and they leave (the drugs haven't kicked in yet) to go get a warrant to search the premise.

Meanwhile the trio gets a scalpel, manages to get of the table (not shown) and hide around a corner for the Doc to reappear. When he finally does Katsuro stabs him in the foot and the knee then bites a large chunk of flesh out of his neck. This renders the Doc unconscious for a few moments and semi-immobile. The trio escapes painfully and slowly up the stairs to the bedroom, where Lindsay knows they can break out a large window. Katsuro uses a lamp to break out the window but the Doc arrives, crawling himself, about this time. Grabbing a piece of glass for what looks like it will be the final showdown Katsuro precedes to tell the Doc (in Japanese) that he'd been a horrible person and that this is his punishment then cuts his own throat. It's at this point the detectives arrive. While the two detectives explore the house Heiter hides in his pool room, the drugged detective is dispatched by him there (unseen) and the other detective goes to investigate, discovers the trio on the way to the pool but is shot by the Doc when he arrives. Getting a single shot of his own which is clean through the Doc's head. We cut back to the two remaining in time to see Jenny die while holding Lindsay's hand and the camera pans out and up above the house. Credits roll.

Now I can't rant or rave about this film. Not like I can some others. I don't really like this movie though, and it has less to do with any of the my typical focuses for movies and more to do with some pretty perplexing things that are specific to this film.

The acting is pretty shoddy at times, but Lasser's Doctor Heiter, while ridiculous makes for a pretty good villain. Or protagonist? Here's the thing; I don't know that Dr. Heiter is the antagonist of the picture, and that Lindsay and the rest of the trio are the protagonists, and I'm not sure if director Tom Six knows that either. It's one of the most perplexing things about the film: I don't honestly know who the film makers want me to root for. That fact alone bothers me. I'm not against rooting for the obvious bad guy, but in order to do that the bad guy has to have some redeeming qualities other than the fact he's being played by a competent actor. Dr. Heiter has none. He's selfish, and uncaring, and is really just completely unlikable.

The camera work is beautiful at times and the movie strikes a mood of unease right from the first shot. It's definitely horror. But when I watch a horror movie I want to be engaged  either by entertainment value or by the underlying themes. I wasn't with this film. It's not entertaining to see people sewn ass to mouth and miserable for 45 minutes. For the record it's not terribly entertaining to watch people tortured for no real reason either, which is why I don't like the Hostel series. But on the other side of the coin there's nothing here to engage me. I'm not sure what the movies underlying message is. No, horror movies don't have to have one, though most do at least in subtext. This one really doesn't. Maybe it's "Narcissism doesn't pay."? Perhaps it's "Modern medical doctors can be nutty."? I'm not sure what it's supposed to be, and I get the sense that it doesn't have one. With those two things against it I can't say much about it. It has no real merit other than to become a pop-cultural reference, and I think it's even played that card out.

So while the film is beautiful at times visually, and it is very original in it's take of the body horror genre (at least for a western film) it's also very... dare I say MEH? While it's shocking to watch in one sense, reflecting on it after the fact is a bit of a let down. Not like a couple of films that are coming up.

1 1/2 out of 5 Beards.

Labels: Movie Reviews

posted by F.G. Shaw @ 11:02 PM 2 comments

The Stuff

The 80's was an interesting time for horror movies. And by interesting I mean, of course, ridiculously cheesy. Now of course cheesy horror movies are still being made today, mostly in a niche market. The 80's is where the cheese when mainstream. Even stuff that was intended to be more serious didn't quite "stick." It's strange to me that a lot of the horror of the 70's (ok, maybe I'm being a bit hyperbolic with the term "a lot") is still somewhat shocking and creepy.  While the 80's. Not so much. Sure the movies are a lot of fun to watch, but honestly they don't hold up well anymore. It's usually effects or cinematography that is the culprit. There isn't a high expectation for acting, script or even direction in a horror movies, but horror movie directors can at least be pretty inventive with camera work and effects. Especially these days.

The Stuff is an 80's horror film that doesn't let down expectations as to it's mediocrity. Let's start with the plot. Shall we?

An old miner finds some white stuff bubbling out of the ground. Of course he does the only logical thing a person could do in this situation and tastes it. It tastes pretty good. He shares it with a friend. Fast forward to an indeterminate time in the future. "The Stuff" is being market as a calorie free, fat free, sweet desert that is good for you. A young boy named Jason (Scott Bloom) goes downstairs for a snack late one night, and sees that "The Stuff" can move on it's own. His father gives him a good smack on the ass, then eats some of "The Stuff." Now we're on a boat. A gathering of ice-cream and snack food executives have gathered, they've hired David "Mo" Rutherford (Michael Moriarty) to find out who makes "The Stuff" and what's in it. He does a little investigating. Finds out that the FDA just straight up approved that shit without actually knowing what's in it when he goes to an FDA board members house who goes by the name of Vickers. Vicker's loves "The Stuff" and doesn't see the problem with it, in fact he even feeds it to his dog, which it turns out is apparently possessed by "The Stuff". Rutherford also tries to seduce the woman Nicole (Andrea Marcovicci) who's been hired to do the advertising for "The Stuff" as well. She also doesn't have a last name. Only important female character in the entire movie and the only major character to not have a last name. Hmmm...

 Now cut to Jason going ape-shit crazy in a grocery store. A grocery store that has "The Stuff" in the dairy section, the frozen food section, in large displays down the aisles. Jason knocks it all down and tries to destroy as much as he can until he's apprehended by four employees and arrested by the cops. Now we cut back to Rutherford who is now investigating a small town that is listed as the location for the business that makes "The Stuff" here he hooks up with Chocolate Chip Charlie (Garret Morris) and the two get chased by hooligans, escape in a boat and then inexplicably show up in a diner. It was about this point I fell asleep for about 20 minutes.

Yeah. That's right. This movie is not just rife with bad dialogue, mediocre acting, terrible editing  and horrible effects. IT'S FUCKING BORING TOO! There's nothing worse than a boring horror movie. The movie itself was only an hour and 20 minutes. It's a horrible mess naratively as is until about the last- No. No. It's just a horrible mess. It really is. When I did come too Rutherford and Nicole were at a hotel. I'm not sure if they actually got jiggy with it, but they did have an attempted assassination attempt on their lives. One of "The Stuff's" henchmen tries to kill them. Jostling the bed he and sets off a trap of "The Stuff" and is drowned in the sweet goop. Now the stuff, for the most part looks a lot like marshmellow cream. I will admit it does look tasty, but I digress

Rutherford and Nicole then go to a quarry where "The Stuff" is being siphoned from the ground and blow it up. They then rescue Jason from inside a tanker truck (he was apparently kidnapped, I completely missed that part) and go to a crazy ex-military commanders hide out by the name of Colonel Malcolm Grommet Spears. Colonel Spears helps this rag tag team of would be heroes take down more of the operation and then broadcasts a warning to America about "The Stuff". Of course Americans heed his words and all is right in the world. Rutherford and Jason go to one of the executives who are in charge of "The Stuff" and force them to eat a box full as punishment. "The Stuff" it seems is alive, and capable of turning people into zombies.  But of course, we see at the very end "The Stuff" is being sold on the black market. DUM DUM DUM.

One of my biggest pet peeves in a movie is when the writers go out of their way to put the title of the movie in it as many times as they can. Now it doesn't bother me when the title shows up in one phrase or a sight-gag, but when it's repeated over and over and over and over and over again. It really pisses me off. The Stuff is one of the worst culprits of this phenomena I've ever encountered.

But really, what can be said about this film? Well, I'll tell you. Not much. Sure it's supposed to be a commentary on consumerism. It fails at that. Not because the message isn't there, it is, but that's all that's there "Consumerism is bad" that's it. It also fails because as a movie it's just pretty bad. Don't get me wrong it's not Troll 2 levels of horrible. There are some pretty decent actors in the movie, but none of them can save the script, poor direction, cheesy lame effects or shitty editing. Not to mention that fact that the movie itself is boring. I never fall asleep during a horror movie, even ones that are supposed to be campy and comedic like this one tries to be. That should tell you how boring this film is. The idea is, well not intriguing, it's a theme that directors have been going to for quite a while now, that consumerism is bad, but it is one that can be made to work well, but never goes beyond that initial premise. This is no different, and if you want to see a movie with a similar message watch They Live. At least it has a couple of iconic one-liners in it and is just a funner film altogether.

The thing that pisses me off the most about this movie is the fact it has a 65% on Rotten Tomatoes. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! That right there makes me lose a little faith in humanity. That's the critic score. The users are a little more reasonable with a 45% rating.

Yes. I can't recommend this film. Not even to horror fans. It's poorly made and boring to boot. If it was just poorly made it would fall nicely into the majority of horror films, but the fact that it is also boring is unforgivable.

1 out of 5 Beards.

Labels: Movie Reviews

posted by F.G. Shaw @ 10:00 PM 0 comments

Pontypool

The power of words is tremendous. Words have incited revolutions in religions, governments and society in general, the printed word is still one of the greatest mediums ever and there's a certain solace in listening to a competent speaker talk. But what if words could infect. Literally. Cause thousands of people to become sick in their minds like a virus causes people to become sick in their bodies? What if certain words had the power to make people kill when they were understood correctly  What if people become little more than zombies when they were fully infected with these words?

Pontypool isn't your average zombie film. It's more about the claustrophobia of being couped up in an oppressive enviroment while meanwhile the world around you falls apart. It spins a new idea with zombie horror, but like I said it only barely qualifies. Does it work? Well Pontypool succeeds with intent but almost fails with delivery. I say almost because there's definitely a mood struck with this film and it carries through to the end despite have some fumbling moments with the dialogue. It's definitely not perfect but the atmosphere becomes near pitch perfect by the middle of the film and what more could really ask for?

But I'm getting to the conclusion before I talk about the meat of the movie. Pontypool is about a radio shock dj, Grant Mazzy (Stephen McHattie), turned radio broadcaster for a small town called Pontypool  He's only just got this job as a radio broadcaster having lost his job at a bigger station in a bigger place. The film opens with Mazzy driving through a blizzard to work. He pulls over to get his bearings while the snow bears down around him. While pulled over a young woman without winter gear on slaps his window, when he rolls it down to ask what she needs she begins repeating his words and seems confused and distressed. He debates calling 911, but decides against it and continues on to work. The radio station is in the basement of an old church and it's here we meet the other two primary characters of the film, Sydney Briar (Lisa Houle) the station manager and Laurel-Ann Drummond (Georgina Reilly). He starts his radio show off by giving short updates and getting a weather report from the "man in the sky" Ken Loney (Rick Roberts, voice only). Then starts into a rant about drug dealers. He's cut off by Sydney who tells him that the small town doesn't go for that sort of discourse and to keep it to things like school closures.

Mazzy reluctantly goes along with it until a news story comes in about a hostage situation. While it seems intense it's soon revealed that the hostage takers were two drunk fisherman who were pulling their shack off the ice (or are they?) Mazzy continues with the show, revealing how miserable he really is to be stuck where he is during the winter months. Sydney Briar feigns sympathy and encourages him to just stick with the topics the towns folk want to see. This first act of the film works against itself. Why it sets up the character of Mazzy particularly well Sydney Briar falls flat and Laurel-Ann is simply uninteresting, the only thing being revealed about her is that she served with the military in Afghanistan. The dialogue is rough here. It's not that it's really poorly written, but instead it comes across as an early draft of the script. The actors are competent  but not excellent, though McHattie does stand out above the rest.

Shortly after the exchange between Briar and Mazzy a report comes in from Ken Lonney of a riot down town near the office of a Dr. Mendez. He reports that people are flooding into the building and then, apparently destroy it from the inside. After this he notes two military helicopters flying over. (Ken is revealed just before this scene to be in an old pick up truck, not a helicopter). Then he get's cut off, trying frantically to leave the scene.

With no official news of what's going on and no other eye-witnesses to the events, the stations precedes with it's planned program. They interview a family who dresses like fantasy versions of Arabs (complete with tacky face-paint) who's group is named Lawrence and the Arabians,  and they sing a song. After the song ends one of the girls looks distressed and begins to repeat her words over and over again, much like the woman in the beginning of the film. The family is ushered out and Sydney and Laurel-Ann confirm to Mazzie that they have eye-witnesses on the phone. They put the first on and he begins repeating the same phrase over and over again. Cutting him off they've managed to contact a police officer and he speaks for a few moments before becoming drowned out by background noise. Shortly after this Ken calls them again.

Ken has managed to hide in an old grain silo. He describes mobs of people wandering the country side and pulling people out of their cars apparently eating and dismembering them. He panics and after a loud crash he reveals that one of them has broke through the silo and appears to be missing his arms. He says the man is whispering something over and over again but is cut off by a loud transmission. In French a warning is given to not use terms of endearment, anything to do with conflict and to completely avoid the English language, and moreover not to translate this to English.

Shortly after the transmission Ken calls back, revealing the young mans last words to be the sound of a baby's voice repeating "Mommy" over and over again. The transmission is cut off again and Mazzy has a melt down and attempts to flee the station. He get's outside but is forced back in by a mob.

This sequence, and nearly the entire film itself, very little is shown to us. What is revealed is done solely through the dialogue. We never see one of the infected through this sequence, and we the audience are never entirely sure what's real and what isn't, we only have the character's words for it. I must admit that I was annoyed at this to begin with. There's an old adage in story-telling to show not tell, and I felt the writer and director (Tony Burgess and Bruce McDonald respectively) were cheating us a bit by not giving us more of a hint. Then as the film carried on the tension built, and built and built. There's a certain paranoia in the air by the time Mazzy tries to leave the station, and it's only carried to new heights by the sequence of obituaries that detail the death and carnage leaping from one person to another all the while showing them in a black and white montage peacefully and patiently standing in front of the camera, waiting for a photo-op. And while it certainly heavily implied that he actually gave those obits, there's a little bit of doubt, it's nearly a dream sequence and it actually breaks up the action nicely for the third act.

The third act starts with Laurel-Ann becoming infected by whatever it is that is infecting people. Dr. Mendez also appears at this time, entering the station and apparently uninfected, having escaped the mobs by crawling through the woods. He takes Sydney into the booth with Mazzy and shuts the door. He explains that Laurel-Ann has become infected and is hunting for them, and will soon begin stalking them all but they should be safe in the booth as it's sound-proof. Laurel-Ann begins to throw herself against the glass of the booth over and over again. She becomes more agitated through out this sequence which involves one last phone call from Ken who has also succumbed to the virus. Dr. Mendez explains that a virus has become part of language itself and that once people are able to hear and understand certain words they become infected. Their next move is to kill or infect somebody else and then kill themselves (murder suicide is the most common way people die). At this point Laurel-Ann vomits blood on the glass of the booth and the mob breaks down the door to the radio station and pours inside. (This is the only real moment of gore in the film)

In an effort to conceal themselves from the mob Sydney, Mazzy and Dr. Mendez turn out all the lights and mics and grab notebooks to write messages to each other. They formulate a plan to lure the mob back outside by recording the message "Sydney Briar is still alive" and playing it on the station loud speaker outside. Shortly after this the Dr. becomes infected and in an effort to stop himself he switches back and forth between different languages. Mazzy and Sydney flee the booth and move to the kitchen area but are attacked by one of the girls from the earlier interview on the way.

They kill the girl and begin searching for weapons and food when the power shuts off, cutting off the recording. Back up generators soon kick in but the mob returns having nothing to keep them occupied outside any more. Mazzy and Briar flee into a pantry, with the Dr (who is still trying to overcome his own infection). The mob begins pounding on the door but the Doc slips out the window and lures them away with the message from the recording. After hours in the pantry of writing on the walls and in the notebooks Sydney, drunk, begins to stress over killing the girl from earlier. She begins to repeat the word "kill" over and over. Mazzy, knowing that Sydney is becoming infected begins to tell her that "kill means kiss" not what she thinks. He gets her to repeat it several times and she seems to come out of it. Convinced that he's found a way to stop the virus he goes back on the air. Soon a voice in French comes on the telling people that Mazzy himself is infected and that the broadcast needs to be shut down. It then counts down backwards from 10 to 0 and the screen goes black and the movie ends.

The film works. Hell I even like the idea of words transmitting some sort of infection like a virus. I will admit that the premise seemed absurd at first blush, but the movie actually does it's job of building up the idea. The film itself almost feels like a play. It could be a play with some minor rewrites and I think that would be brilliant. Apparently the screenwriter Tony Burgess and the director Bruce McDonald also wrote it as a radio play as well. There're a limited amount of characters, which in a film like this works quite well. There's no need for more. All of them are trapped in one location, and there's a claustrophobic feeling during the entire film that is not pressing but still present and manages to create a sense of foreboding that gently slides into doom. While the film doesn't show us much, and as I noted above has a tendency to tell what's happening rather than show it does display good use of the rule of three. (Who would have thought that a pseudo-zombie horror flick could be used to demonstrate story-telling techniques). First we hear about the rioting, then the infected, then finally we see the what's going on when Laurel-Ann becomes infected and the mob shows up.

The acting is sufficient. Not great but a little better than average for a horror movie. That being said McHattie's Mazzy is interesting. The character is compelling and there's a desperation there that I think many people can identify with. Credit for this solely lies on the shoulders of Stephen McHattie. The script itself is rough in spots, and definitely could have used some rewrites. I blame the script, more than the actress, for making Sydney Briar unlikable  That being said the filmmakers manage to take what seems to be an absurd idea and make it compelling, if not quite terrorizing and that's great. This movie is listed as a zombie film, and I suppose that is true in the broader sense, but it definitely doesn't fall into a lot of the zombie movie cliches and thank god for that! It's definitely worth checking out and there's very little gore in the film so even non-horror fans can sample it. Just remember, the premise seems absurd but unlike another horror movies with an absurd premise (The Happening I'm looking at you) this one is actually compelling.

3 beards out of 5.

Labels: Movie Reviews

posted by F.G. Shaw @ 11:37 PM 0 comments

An American Werewolf in London

[I'm going to be reviewing several movies that are either the first in a series franchise, or have sequels. I'm not however going to be looking at any more films beyond the first. Simply put, most movies are not made with the idea of sequels in mind. Any movie that comes after the first film is made is typically coasting on the coattails of the original film. My intent isn't to comment on a franchise, just the original film, looking at it as if it had no sequel(s)]

[I spoil the hell out of this movie, so if you haven't seen it but want to watch it with out spoilers, read no further.]

John Landis is a director with a lot of hits and misses. Of the movies I've seen of his I'd say only about half are worth watching. He is decidedly a director of comedies, at least that's where his talent shines. The director of classic comedies like: National Lampoon's Animal House, The Blues Brothers, Trading Spaces and The Three Amigo's it's easy to tell where Landis passions lay.

That being said it is seemingly odd for a director who focuses so much on comedy to delve into horror. His first film Schock (which I have not seen... yet) is a comedy-horror, so like many director's he did get his start in the film industry with this tried and true genre, though it's not his most well known film. That would go to Animal House, nor is it his most well known horror movie (of which he only has a few), that would go to An American Werewolf in London. 

An American Werewolf in London, as the title indicates, is a werewolf film. It's a simple enough plot, one that's been done over and over again with werewolf movies. Somebody get's bitten by a werewolf, turns into a werewolf and kills people, they are horrified to discover that they are a werewolf, and are eventually killed by a mob. Landis turns the genre on it's head, well that's not quite right, he trips and knocks it down a bit. The movie starts out with two American backpackers hiking through the moors of northern England. David Kessler (played by David Naughton) and Jack Goodman (played by Griffin Dunne) after hiking in the chilly English country side enter an inhospitable tavern to escape the cold night air. After it becomes apparent that they aren't wanted, they flee the tavern but given the cryptic warning to beware of the moon and to stick to the roads as they do. Ignoring both pieces of advice they soon become lost on the moors and are attacked by a beast. Jack is killed and David is mauled by the monster before the folks in the village, feeling guilty for letting the boys go, show up and kill the animal who quickly changes into a man.

Skip to three weeks later David is in a hospital being tended to by the beautiful young nurse Alex Price (Jenny Agutter). David's told that he and Jack were attacked by a madman and the case is closed on what happened to him. He insists to the doctor that he and his Jack were attacked by a large animal, not a man and that something is being kept hidden from them. The doctor humors him at first, but David's persistence begins to even have an affect on the him, and there's a nagging feeling that he has been lied to as David's wounds were cleaned and bound before any doctor saw him. David's himself is plagued by nightmares, first it's him running nude through the woods, and hunting animals. Then he as a vivid nightmare of a group of monsters in military uniforms murdering his family. Soon he starts seeing Jack as he appeared when he last saw him, mauled and torn up, Jack claims that he will be forced to walk to the Earth in limbo until the last of the werewolf bloodline that killed him is killed, that of course being David.

David's slight insanity and boyish charm makes Nurse Price fall for him, and when he's discharged from the hospital she takes him to her flat. While there alone and unattended the full moon turns him into a werewolf and goes on a killing spree through out the city. The next morning he wakes up nude at the wolf pen in the zoo and makes his way back to Alex's flat. The doctor having gone to the village the day before has become convinced there's something to David's psychosis, as the villagers all seemed to have it too. The doctor calls Alex to have her bring David to see him so that he can be taken into custody, worried that David had something to do with the six murders the night before. David escapes Alex, tries to get arrested, makes one last phone call home and is finally lured into a porno theater in Picaddilly Circus by Jack where he's asked to commit suicide by Jack and the six people he killed the night before. He changes while in the theater and kills everybody inside and an usher that goes to check on the disturbance. The police show up and try to blockade him in but he escapes and reigns havoc in Trafalgar Square until he's finally cornered in an alley. Alex makes one last plea to the beast that is David, but he leaps to attack and is killed by the assembled police officers.

The movie does some things that are notable: the idea that the dead continue to walk the earth after they are killed by the werewolf is new, at least in film. It's something that isn't touched on in other films of the genre that I have ever seen. Also the movie ignores the idea of needing silver or a silver bullet to kill the werewolf, during the scene in the porno theater David asks Jack "Won't I need a silver bullet?" Jack's response is "Pfff, Please."

That being said this movie is 31 years old and the question that somebody might reasonably ask is, especially with horror movies is, does it hold up? Well, the answer to that is yes and no. Landis injects a lot of comedy into this movie, quite a lot in fact: From the banter of Jack and David at the beginning to the entire sequence of David trying to get back to Alex's flat from the zoo after his first full moon, there's some pretty funny stuff. The scenes between David and Jack as a corpse are also played for the comedy and not the horror and give the movie a campy vibe that even Landis' comedies don't have. It might have played well in 1981, and while it is funny, it doesn't work in the context of the rest of the film.

The plot itself is a bit cliched as well, even with the idea brought in with the undead. There's only so much you can do with werewolf cinema and honestly you just have to be a fan of the genre in general to enjoy most of these movies, even those that try to inject something new to the genre. So Landis can be forgiven I think for this, he tried and did not completely succeed, but at least he tried.

That being said there are moments of this film that shine. The scene on the moors, even though it looks a bit dated actually ramps up the tension quite nicely. As does a scene in the subway after David turns. And, if you haven't seen it, there's one scene that makes this movie worth watching: where David turns into a werewolf for the first time. This is an iconic movie scene these days and it's no wonder why. It still looks pretty awesome today. There's certainly some falseness to the scene during a couple of moments, but we've been trained through the years to look through special effects. There's no denying that Rich Baker's effects were top notch for this scene, and they still are. It looks like bones are breaking and adjusting. You can see the sheen of sweat on David's face as he changes and it feels like the screams of pain are genuine. This is a monster who's only part blood lust, the rest is pain. This scene alone is worth watching, and makes the rest of the movie worth watching just so you have a broader context.

So while the movie isn't particular good by today's standards, it's still become a classic horror film and is definitely worth a watch if you are a fan of the genre.

2 1/2 Beards out of 5.

Labels: Movie Reviews

posted by F.G. Shaw @ 11:54 PM 0 comments

Red State

[Warning: This review contains spoilers. A lot of spoilers. If you want to watch this movie and not know the basics of the plot, theme and ending, then don't read it.]

Red State is something different.

At least it is for Kevin Smith, the funny man who's known for his shock comedy films that balance sex/gross out humor with punchy, witty dialogue that speaks for a generation. Kevin Smith's generation, and mine as well.

Red State isn't a comedy. It isn't strictly speaking horror either, though it is at times incredibly terrifying. Playing with the idea of  taking fanatical Christians, like Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist church up a level, and law enforcement agencies that churches with compounds always clash against, what Red State does is balance the horror of fanatics with the horror of the state (government) and it almost succeeds. Well it gives a good go of it at least.

The films opens with Travis (played by Michael Angarano) being driven to school by his mother past a local funeral home. The funeral, for a gay teen that had recently been found dead in an ally, is being protested by the Five Points Church, an extremist Christian Church who is anti-gay. At school Travis meets up with his friends Jarod (Kyle Gallner) and Billy-Ray (Nicholas Braun). Jarod tells Travis and Billy-Ray about a 38 year old woman he's been talking with online and how she wants to meet the three of them for sex that night.

After securing the car for the evening the three boys drive out to meet the woman who's going to rock their world, so to speak. On the way there they side swipe a parked car, after discovering an occupant who looks unharmed they get into their vehicle and flee to meet their internet date. Getting to a small trailer the woman invites them in and encourages them to drink beer: "I don't take no man to bed unless he's had at least two beers." She coaxes the boys in the bedroom to undress and as they do the beer, which was drugged, does its work. This is all pretty standard stuff for horror movies. It's  played up a little different, but not much. Where the film takes a turn is in the next scene. Jarod finds himself locked in a cage with a cloth over it, he can hear, and barely make out a barely moving body next to (and bound to) a cross. Kevin Smith could have played up the wackiness of the cult, falling for over the top gimmicks that show up in movies like Texas Chainsaw Massacre and House of 1000 Corpses. But he doesn't. Smith wants this to be real. Feel real. Instead he let's the leader of the church, Mordechai (James Parks) deliver a sermon. This is deadly serious stuff, and the calm timbre and cadence of James Parks speech belies a sinister motive that only becomes apparent when he uncovers the man tied -with plastic wrap- to the cross and the other male members of the flock wrap him with plastic the rest of the way, shoot him in the head, and then drop him through a trap door in the floor where Billy-Ray and Travis are tied up. Jame Parks handles this scene beyond beautifully. He feels like a real preacher, delivering a real sermon. He's not pomp and circumstance, nor straight bible thumping fire and brimstone, there's a certain evil there that doesn't make you feel uncomfortable because of how absurd it is, but because of how real it is. There's nothing absurd about Mordechai or his flock. Smith never does anything to make them odd-ball or goofy, and instead just lets the scene play itself out. After dropping the dead body into the pit the flock then proceed to retrieve Jarod from his cage and wrap him up to the cross as well.

This is where things take a turn: The car that the boys hit earlier belonged to the local sheriff (Stephen Root) who has been meeting men apparently for oral sex for some time. Not wanting to be caught he goes back to the station and ask the deputy (Matt Jones) to go find the culprit, giving him a description of the car that hit him while making up a story about what he was doing. The deputy finds himself at the family/church's compound just in time to interrupt the next murder. Mordechai goes and speaks with him, potentially diffusing the situation, but while he does the Billy-Ray escapes, leading the men of the compound on a chase through the basements that lead to his death, a member's death and, because he heard the shots, the deputies death. Before dying however the deputy has a chance to call it in to the sheriff. The Sheriff is ready to pursue it further when Mordechai takes control, telling the sheriff he knows his secrets and that if he doesn't leave him and the church alone, he'll reveal it. The sheriff gives in and is about to commit suicide when he notices a wanted poster by the ATF.

This cuts to Agent Joseph Keenan (John Goodman) who is an ATF agent investigating the church and the family. After what appears to be a lengthy phone call with a higher ranking agent who's not directly involved with the case, Agent Keenan is given the go ahead to serve a warrant and search for weapons.

At the compound Travis, after hiding behind the dead body of Billy-Ray, grabs a gun and sneaks his way to the chapel. After getting up the courage, he runs through the chapel with the family members mourning the loss of their member (and preparing to kill Jarod) and is trapped briefly in the house with several of the men chasing him, he finally escapes through a pair of french doors before he's promptly shot in the chest by the Sheriff.

One thing you learn quickly watching this movie, life is cheap.

The ATF agents and the family get into a showdown. Agent Keenan is given the order to take them down with extreme prejudice  though he protests that there are children in the house and says he will only do it if he has some sort of text or email that he can use to cover up his own ass. One of the younger members Cheyenne (played by Kerry Bishe) escapes the house to help get the children out. When it's apparent that the agents plan to kill everybody she then releases Jarod in order to convince him to help her get the kids out. After a confrontation with her mother she sends the rest of the kids to the attic, and her and Jarod leave the house to approach the agents... where they are promptly shot. It's about this time that the horns begin to sound and the movie slowly winds it's way to it's conclusion.

Agent Keenan is briefed where he reveals what happened to the rest of the congregation and why he disobeyed orders to murder them all. The agents doing the debriefing reveal they never intend to formerly charge Mordechai or the other remaining family members and that they can hold them indefinitely because they've been labelled as terrorist.

This movie plays fast and loose with several common horror movie tropes. It never fully becomes the outsider horror that you expect it to, and it doesn't really play itself in any absurd way like many films of this ilk tend to do. This is both a credit and a detriment to the movie. Because it doesn't stay focused on the horror genre it loses a bit of it's impact. Though the scenes that are decidedly in that genre are great, switching focus to the agents, and killing all the characters that you initially identify with at the beginning of the film cheapens the movie in some ways. That isn't to say that there aren't great performances. Most of the performances are more than believable. Goodman as Agent Keenan delivers a great performance as does Stephen Root as the sheriff  The tour de force however is James Parks as Mordechai. The ten minute sermon scene alone I think is worth the price of admission, or at least a watch or two. The film succeeds in showing us how close to the edge these kind of fanatics are, but it fails in juxtaposing that with the government that opposes them falls flat. However it does show that Kevin Smith isn't one note. He has talent and though he's deviated from his ViewAskew Universe a little in the past I hope to see more of these kinds of projects from Mr. Smith.

I give it 3 out of 5 beards.

Labels: Movie Reviews

posted by F.G. Shaw @ 3:31 AM 0 comments

The Horror. The Horror

Happy October!

I can't say that Halloween is my favorite holiday, despite my lack of religion I think in many ways that still goes to Christmas, but I can say that Halloween definitely ranks up there in the top five, after Christmas and Thanksgiving. (You know what's lacking? New Years, I honestly couldn't give two shits about New Years.)
That being said, I thought it would be fun to set myself up for a little challenge this month: Review three horror movies a week for the entire month. I would try and do one everyday, but that's simply not feasible given my work schedule, not to mention that there are other things I'd like to write about between those reviews. So that's the challenge.

I like horror films. Like Halloween, I can't claim that it's my favorite genre, but it definitely ranks up there. I love the campy horror, and I love the "Oh my god I need to scrub my brain with lye" horror as well. The films I ultimately end up reviewing will be a mix of that and everything in between. Certainly many films in my collection will be reviewed, as well as things in my Netflix que that have been begging to be watched for quite some time.

There's a smorgasbord of horror out there. I plan to view it all: American classics, French New Wave (that shit's disturbing), Japanese gorefests, even contemporary horror from the supernatural to the torture porn that became inexplicably popular during the last decade. Fifteen movies, in 31 one days.

LET'S DO THIS!!!!

[If anybody has suggestions please give them to me. I certainly have enough movies in my collection alone to do this challenge, but I like most (not all) of those movies. So if somebody has something that they'd like to see reviewed here, and is perhaps a little obscure or more niche, don't hesitate to post it below in the comments.]

Labels: Movie Reviews

posted by F.G. Shaw @ 11:02 AM 0 comments

The Dark Knight Rises... Thoughts

[Note: Surprisingly I didn't spoil as much as I thought I would. Still, I do spoil a lot, so if you haven't seen the movie and don't want to be spoiled, don't read this.]

As usual I'm late to the ball game when it comes to movies. I journeyed to Logan this week to see some folks and decompress and while there I had the chance to catch The Dark Knight Rises - just in time actually as it was out of the theaters only two days after I saw it. What follows is a review. A review full of spoilers so if you haven't seen it then I wouldn't read this because I am going to spoil the shit out of this movie.

I could start with a synopsis. In fact I tried twice, the first time was going to blow this blog into a novella easily, the second attempt a respectable short story. This plot is huge. There's a lot going on in this movie, and if you're not familiar with the full franchise already you're simply going to be out of the loop. We are introduced to the villain very early in this film, much like we were The Dark Knight. Bane is the big bad here, and what a big bad he is. Tom Hardy is huge. His size is reminiscent of the film Bronson, but his performance is much more calculating here. With a voice that sounds like a cross between Satan and Howdy Doody, Bane doesn't just intimidate the audience with his size, but his very presence. Humanity is a commodity to this character, and a very cheap one at that. We are also introduced to Selena Kyle, who robs a crippled, shut in Bruce Wayne early in the film. As well as a young cop named Blake, who has deduced that Bruce Wayne is really the Batman, and suspects the story about Batman killing Harvey Dent is a lie.

The movie takes place 8 years after The Dark Knight, the lie about Harvey Dent helped enact a law that has put most of the criminals in Gotham into prison. This is where Commissioner Jim Gordon, Bruce Wayne and Alfred Pennyworth comes in. Gordon feels a tremendous amount of guilt and wants to reveal the truth about Batman rescuing his son from a deranged Harvey. Bruce is still feeling the pain from Rachel Dawes death only wants to waste away in his mansion as he's not needed as Batman any more. Alfred still feels the guilt about lying to Bruce by burning a note from Rachel that revealed her love for Harvey Dent just before she died.

Bruce does come to life. After Gordon is shot while exploring the sewers looking for suspects involved in a shooting, he reveals a huge network underground where Bane and his mercenaries set up shop. Bane is ostensibly working for Bruce Wayne's competitor Dagget who has Bane use some stolen fingerprints and strong arm tactics to take control of the Gotham City Stock Exchange and bankrupt Bruce through some bad trades. In attempt to save his company he gives up control to a business partner Miranda Tate, who has invested heavily in his fusion project. All of this is enough to get the Batman active again, but it doesn't last. In a scene that fan-boys have been crying out for for 20 years Bane and Batman fight and it ends, as you would predict, with Bane breaking Batman's back. Then he plops him into a prison that is little more than a hole in the ground and taunts him with what he's about to do to Batman's beloved city, revealing that he is all that remains of the League of Shadows.

Bane takes control of the city. He lures the police force into the tunnels then buries all of the exits. He also destroy's all but one bridge out of town and informs the city that he will nuke it if anybody interferes. He's taken the the fusion core and had the physicist from the beginning of the film arm it as a nuclear device, then to be sure he kills the  physicist. He then "turns" the city back over to the populace, by letting all the convicts out of prison it becomes a police state ruled over by the former cons and Bane's mercenaries.

It's here where the theme of the film comes to the front like a huge mallet. Bruce, battered and broken, slowly heals then begins to attempt to make the climb out of the pit. The city devolves into further madness. Bruce tries again and again to escape the pit ect.

Now you can guess how it ends. I won't give away the entire ending, but Gotham is saved, and Nolan does manage to end it in such a way that Bruce Wayne is no longer Batman. How he completes both of these tasks shouldn't be too hard to guess, with a little foresight anyway.

The movie's good in all ways that a movie should be: it's fast paced, the acting and dialogue works really well for the most part, it has incredibly compelling characters (particularly Bane), and the cinematography and style is what you've come to expect in a Christopher Nolan Batman movie. It's not perfect though.

While it may seem nit picky, and even disingenuous to compare it to The Dark Knight, which in and of itself wasn't perfect (but near enough) but still an outstanding achievement of a movie. It's actually because of the previous film that the flaws in this movie are all that more apparent.

First off the plot. This is a big plot. There's so much going on that it's almost too much, even for the nearly three hour run time of the film. Some things are hand waved, like Blake having deduced that Bruce Wayne was the Batman, or even how Bane and his mercenaries manage to entrench themselves into the city in the capacity they do. This could easily have been stretched out into 3 1/2 hours, or even 4, which means it actually could have been two separate films. The plot is epic, but it's really too much for the movie we've been given.

That being said, there are several characters who are barely in the film. Pennyworth disappears for about 2/3rds the film, Jim Gordon is shot fairly quickly into the movie and only makes the occasional appearance for about the same amount of time as Pennyworth. And while Joseph Gordon-Levitt is fantastic, his character Blake really could have used some fleshing out. Not that there isn't character development, it's just somethings are hand-waved and it seems a bit of a let down with the character. The same goes for Lucius Fox, Miranda Tate, and Selena Kyle. Yes they get screen time, but their arcs seem shallow because there's just too much going on.

Now, as for implied propaganda. I can see it, but I don't. Not really. This isn't about class warfare, nor is it implying that we are better off under the rule of the wealthy, far from it in fact. Certainly those things are touched upon, but likening Bane to a socialist or a agent of reform who fails because he uses terrorist tactics ignores what Bane's actual goals are. He's not interested in turning the city over to the masses, or social upheaval, he's only interested in it's destruction. The only reason he doesn't merely nuke the city immediately after getting control of the reactor is because he wants to taunt Bruce Wayne. He's only goal is to finish what was started in the first film and that is the utter destruction of Gotham, because that's what Ra's al Ghul wanted.

The movie has other themes though, those that are more important in my opinion: obligation, honesty, perseverance. And truthfully the answers aren't all cut and dry. At what point does one's obligation to society supersede one's obligation to one's self? If a lie has to be told in order for society to be better, is it the right thing to do? These are questions the film asks, and quite honestly I'm not sure it answers in any conclusive way.

This movie isn't perfect, and in fact it, it is about the same in quality as Batman Begins, which isn't a bad thing at all. It bookends the series nicely with that movie and it definitely brings closure to the franchise. That being said, this is the first of the franchise that I hope for a director's cut right when it's released on DVD.

Labels: Batman, Christopher Nolan, Movie Reviews

posted by F.G. Shaw @ 2:00 AM 0 comments

Attack of the Clones: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and this Movies Sucks.

*Sigh*

Attack of the Clones

*Sigh*

For all of its flaws, The Phantom Menance manages not to piss me off. I'm not sure why, but it doesn’t.
The same cannot be said about this cluster fuck of a film.
Very briefly the plot: There are several star systems leaving the Republic because it's become too corrupt. The leader Count Dooku is a former Jedi, and is pandering to other star systems to leave as well. The Jedi are really just diplomats and ombudsmen with laser swords and can't do much against the armies of the Separatists. So Padme, now a senator, is going before the senate to propose the formation of an army. [We get all of that in the opening scrawl]. After a failed assassination attempt on Padme the Jedi Council sends Obi-Wan-Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker to guard her. Another assassination attempt is thwarted by the Jedi who chase the culprit through the city and capture her only to have her killed by her employer. Padme and Anakin are sent back to Naboo, leaving representative Jar-Jar Binks to represent the planet in the senate.
Meanwhile Obi-Wan traces down the mysterious dart to a planet called Kamino which has been deleted from the Jedi archives. After a bunch of kindergartners explain to him the obvious he leaves for Kamino where there he's told his army of clones is ready. He also discovers a bounty hunter named Jango Fett who was used as the model and is possibly the employer of the bounty hunter who tried to kill Padme. Jango flees the planet and is chased by Obi-wan. He follows him to the planet Geonosis.
On Geonosis Obi-Wan discovers that several factions in the galaxy are planning on supporting the Separatists and relays the message to Anakin who is now on Tatooine with Padme (Seems he had some nightmares and had to go find his mommy.) Back on Corucsant Jar-Jar proposes to give Chancellor Palpatine emergency powers and Palpatine agrees to form an army, which has been conveniently built on Kamino. The Jedi council gets Obi-Wan's message the same time Anakin and Padme do and they all go to rescue him, but for Yoda, who goes to get the army. Anakin and Padme get to Geonosis first and are captured and are going to be executed in an arena with the also captured Obi-Wan. The Jedi show up to rescue all three of them, but are over powered by droids and bug people. Then the cavalry shows up.
Count Dooku goes to flees but is chased by Anakin, Obi-Wan and Yoda. After a couple of fight scenes Dooku does manage to get away and flies back to Coruscant to confer with his master Darth Sidious. All is going to plan. The Republic now has an army. The Clone Wars has begun.

Wow! That was not brief, and I'm almost certain I left something crucial to the plot out. I know I left out stuff that isn't crucial or just plain boring. But wow!

I like the idea of the plot. I like the whole idea of Palpatine coming into power. It's going on during these films but is never completely the focus. Oh, we get bits and pieces to be sure, but it's not the main action for the movies. Instead we get Anakin, Obi-Wan, Padme, and a whole lot of bullshit.

First problem: Anakin! I could forgive Jake Lloyd. He was completely inexperienced, had to be coached, and is just a kid. No, there's not a lot of talent there, but he could have been a lot better had he had a better director. I can't forgive Hayden Christiansen. He's just a bad actor. Now granted, though it wasn't his first role on screen I think it may have been his first major role. The fact that George directed didn't help things neither does the script, but I'll get to that in a moment. He plays the character one note: creepy. There's no chemistry between him and Obi-Wan, or Padme for that matter. After watching the deleted scenes, I think his best scene was cut, and it's just him talking to Padme's father. It's not good, but when you've got a pile of shit, finding a rock is a reward.

Second Problem: Script! The dialogue sucks. It's not bad, it sucks. There's very few characters that come across as believable and lines that are supposed be endearing aren't. They're not written that way, and when coming out of the mouths of horrible actors, aren't delivered that way. The plot is a mangled mess, and honestly this is where the prequels should have started. There's two movies worth of plot here, just crammed into one film. I could go on about ways to improve this, and the next film, but I won't. I may someday, but not today. The honest truth is, I still find it intriguing. Brilliant even, the jockeying for power that Palpatine does. He uses everybody, and nobody knows he's doing it until after the fact. Sadly this film, as with all the prequels, is executed so poorly that you have to sort of wade through the muck to see all of that.

I think my biggest gripe with the script is that it doesn't let the actions of the characters dictate their relationships. It tells, it doesn't show. We get, what I assume is supposed to be, witty banter between Obi-Wan and Anakin, but it feels forced. It's not just the bad acting and direction that's causing that. It's the fact the lines don't read like something two people who've spent every waking day for the last 10 years together would actually say to each other. Then a character will take an action and the other character will quip about how they're always doing something like that. Its bullshit sloppy writing and most people know it.

Then there's the love story. Fuck is it boring! I mean I fell asleep tonight during a majority of the scenes on Naboo. There's just nothing believable there. Yeah, the actors don't sell it, but what do they have to work with? Not much. This also goes back to Hayden Christiansen being a bad actor however, and I honestly don't think Natalie Portman was into it... of course Anakin came over as pretty damned creepy so I don't think I would be either.

My final gripe, yeah, I'm bitching a lot with this review is the action sequences. The speeder chase? Too long. The factory scene? I HATE! HATE! HATE! That scene. Oh how I hate it? I hate it so much I could spit. You could cut that scene out and not have it affect the film in a negative way at all. It feels like I'm watching somebody play a video game honestly, and I wonder if the film makers thought to themselves "This would make a pretty sweet level in a game."

I thought The Phantom Menace was a mess of a film, but overall worth watching. I'm not sure I can give the same vote of confidence to this one. It has gorgeous vistas and eye candy, there's a plot there that's actually intriguing when taken out of the film and looked at on its own. But the dialogue is arguably worse. There's no chemistry between any of the actors (except for maybe Samuel L. Jackson and Frank Oz) and the acting itself is one note and uninteresting. It has its moments. The last 15 minutes is actually pretty cool, as is the excursion to Kamino. But cut out a majority of the love story, the ridiculous action sequences and you'd have a movie that was an hour and a half that actually focused on what mattered: The rise of Palpatine and the fall of the Jedi. I think the biggest mistake George made with these films was making Anakin such an impossibly heroic figure. "The Chosen One." Why? Why can't he just be a talented Jedi Knight. Lucas never explains how the Force is out of balance, or why. We get hand waving about the dark side being stronger, but honestly how exactly is the force out of balance? When did this happen? Who caused it? We have volumes of expanded Universe we could go to for answers to those questions, but I'd like George to answer it, and you know what? He never does.

Stay tuned for Revenge of the Sith!

Labels: Movie Reviews, StarWars

posted by F.G. Shaw @ 12:19 AM 3 comments

A Phantom Menace Revisited.

Oh George Lucas. You genius! You idiot savant! You gave us StarWars, and for that I think we're all grateful.

Labels: Movie Reviews, StarWars

posted by F.G. Shaw @ 11:44 PM 0 comments