10 Years
It's been 10 years.It's been 10 years since I left Logan to come back to Roosevelt, and my, have things changed. Many... not for the better. Some... are pretty good.
When I left Logan the plan was to get out of debt, and then move to... well ostensibly Salt Lake City, but some place not the Uintah Basin.
When I first arrived the job I had hoped for fell through.
The first job I got, sucked. It was full of tweekers, and the hours were not good.
The job I ended up with was a good job. Stocking shelves at a grocery store. Good steady work, and I was given some responsibility by the end. But any physical ailment put me out for days or weeks at time there. After that happened a couple of different times over the course of the three years I worked there, I bit the bullet and found an office job.
The office job was for an oil company doing data entry, verifying sales tickets, and a few random tasks that fell to us in that department. It lasted 3 years, almost to the day I started it (just over actually) before I was laid off. The company still exists, and is doing alright but only has about a 10th of the employees it did when I got hired on.
I'm back to the grocery store. My official title is "Online Manager" but really I'm a delivery boy. I fulfill the orders and maintain customer satisfaction for the stores online shopping program. It's my principle duty. It's one I'm good at, keeping the customers happy. But it tends to be a pretty draining job. Which has negative effects on all of the other duties I have at the store. I'm not looking for other work. If I could convince them to work me four 10 hour shifts instead of 5 eights, then it would be perfect. Well, not perfect, but better. But that's not likely. If something comes along that's better, I will take it.
I've had a surgery on a hernia since I've been back.
I've recovered, it was seven years ago.
I'm still fat. Well, fatter. Fortunately the job keeps me a tiny bit active. If only I could change my eating habits in a meaningful way. I'd lose weight. I did at one point about a year ago. Then I abandoned it, and have put it all back on, plus a little extra. Losing weight would be beneficial, not just for my health, but for getting in and out of my tiny little car.
I have had probably the best dog I'll ever own since I've been back. A black lab puppy that I only had for six months. It's none of the dogs I currently have. Don't tell them. I do love them.
I've also had the second best dog, and one of the sweetest dogs I'll likely ever own since I've been back. She's sleeping on the floor in front of me.
My mother passed away.
That's some shit.
It'll be five years this November. It's one of the reasons I haven't moved.
Her passing has pretty much anchored me here. She'd already given me the house: Twenty years ago she added my name to the deed. I always thought she'd live till she was at least eighty. Maybe ninety. She barely made it passed seventy. It's hard to believe of the 10 years I've been back in the Uintah Basin she's been gone for half of it.
So on that note... I have a house. I don't have the money it takes to maintain a house. But I have it. And it needs a lot of work. Work I can't afford really to have done. It's something I guess, that needs addressed. And soon.
I've got a lady. I've had lady's before. One of which I'm still quite fond of. But this lady has been with me five years. We have fun. Some of the same interests. Though I think she feigns it sometimes. She's still here. I'm not sure why. I'm not mean, or abusive. But I'm neglectful, and that surely has to wear a person.
I've got a podcast. Something that Tom and I played with the idea of back in like 2004, I now do it some what regularly. It's not "successful". I'm not sure it ever will be. I think i'm lacking something fundamental from it really taking off, and I wish I knew what it was. Drive? Maybe. Energy? Perhaps. Passion? Entirely feasible. I have, and John and I have, and John has, other projects that we want to do. It's a matter of doing them. Maybe we'll find what's missing. Maybe we'll do this another three years and then give up. Maybe.....
So it's been 10 years.
I've lost two of the guys I gamed with, was good friends with. One in 2011, the other last year in 2017. Another I'm estranged from politically. But it's 2018, that's normal. It's not easy being liberal in the Basin, but it's getting harder and harder as the days and weeks go by. It's been 10 years, and I don't see an end in sight. I'm almost where I was emotionally/mentally in Logan when I left. But this time there's not a light at the end of the tunnel. It turns out the light last time was just a train.
posted by F.G. Shaw @ 10:43 PM
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