Friday, August 05, 2005

so here's another post.
i'm starting to feel better.
still have a huge gaping wound in a very inconvient spot, but it's healing.
that and the pain meds make me loopy as all hell, i don't feel like myself.
i've found that the pain i can endure with a grimace and a shrug, even when it was excruciating it wasn't as bad as accidently brushing near the outer edge of the wound with my finger and knowing that there is a chunk of me missing.
being pricked doesn't bother me either, i.v's, blood testing pretty routine; i can watch the nurse do it with little trouble, but blood from my wound upsets me to no end.
funny that huh?

i am walking a little more each day, paced around my apartment for twenty minutes waiting for the nurse to show up to poke and prod my wound.
that was fun.
i'm not quite up to writing a whole lot yet, but i do get the urge a little bit.
i may have someone take me to the post office later today, or possibly tomorrow.
haven't checked my mail in a while, and last time tom did it.

it won't be long now though
i figure maybe another week and a half, i'll be nearly where i was before it started.
i hope.
my appetite is gone.
i ate lunch today, the most i've ate in a long time and i mentioned to my mother that i ate to much.
i ate most of what was on my plate: little lasgna, some salad, slice of cheese and a couple of small, sliver size pieces of chicken, and some chocolate milk, which is what i love to drink when i'm not feeling well.
my mother made the statement that she'd seen me eat twice that much.
and i have, with out blinking an eye and gone back for more.
maybe this will stick.
i hope so.
for my sake anyway.

this is post 401
amazing.
post 400 was the first one from me out of the hospital.
i feel like i've turned over a new leaf
and all i had to do was have the sick part of me cut away.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

well, i'm out.
for those of you who didn't know, i've been in the hosipital for the last couple of weeks.
and it's been a real pain in my ass... literally.
i'm doing somewhat better.... ok, a whole lot better, but i'm still not 100%.
i will state that i have had some of the worst experiences in my life the last couple of weeks, and i sincerely hope that i don't ever have to go through anything like them again.
being inocculated while conscious ranks up there to the scariest thing i've been through awake.
waking up in the icu was also no fun.
but the nurses were certainly lovely.
the morphine wasn't though... made me loopy, mellow and somewhat emotional.
i had, hopefully, my last dose today.
i'm on vicodine now to control the pain.... and yes i'm a little loopy on it now.
i've got another week or two of recovery, having someone coming to the apartment to change my dressing every morning for the next week or so.
the first time i was concious for a dressing change it hurt sooooo much when the pulled the old dressing out.
enough that i screamed while the nurse did it, the morphine hadn't had a chance to kick in.
the last couple haven't been nearly as bad.
but now i know why i had to go to the o.r. four times for dressing changes.

for those of you who have expressed your concern, or have been worried about me. thanks.
i love you all, and i certainly am glad there are folks out there thinking of me.
for those of you who read my blog and not the others, and didn't know... well, know that i'm going to be well... maybe even better who knows.

i want to thank tom.
i really wish there was someway i could really show him my appreciation, but i simply do not know how.
he's been there for me, more than i could have asked... though oh i did.