i'm dreaming
vorpal, vaporous trails surround me
hushed hurried murmurs
steal my heart
i'm falling
drowing in delusion
melting my minds eye
with grief
i'm flying
feeling feathers of sorrow
brush beneath my skin
i weep
i'm running
from futuristic dreams
touching torrent ribbons
of fear
i'm dreaming
waking woeful visions
hushed hurried murmurs
steal my heart
JayC.... HA! Like hell! We all know you're hung like a gummi bear, and that's not the size of the gummi bear, that's if the gummi bear had a penis.
skeptic:
\Skep"tic\, Skeptical \Skep"tic*al\, a. [Written also sceptic, sceptical.] 1. Of or pertaining to a sceptic or skepticism; characterized by skepticism; hesitating to admit the certainty of doctrines or principles; doubting of everything.
cynic:
A member of a sect of ancient Greek philosophers who believed virtue to be the only good and self-control to be the only means of achieving virtue.
agnostic:
One who believes that it is impossible to know whether there is a God.
One who is skeptical about the existence of God but does not profess true atheism
So I just read Wyrdghost's blog from last night. I can't help feeling sad now. I'm not sad for her, I'm sad with her. What's worse; though I barely know her, only met her the one time I was down in Vegas, I want to wish her better. I'd like to be able to snap my fingers and have all the heartache and sense of loss she has just dissapear. I'd like to do it for each of you, I can't. That is the curse of humanity I suppose; the ability to have deep empathy for people, but the inability to wisk away the pain and suffering that each person has.
So apparently my penis is small. I know this not because I get a glimpse of it in the shower, or the mirror when I get out of the shower. I know this because on a weekly basis I get an email telling me that I want it to be bigger. Now this is confusing. No it's not confusing as to why I don't block the sender of the email, it makes me laugh, until that stops I'm going to tolerate it. No what's confusing is; how do they know I want it to be bigger? I've never come right out and said to anybody "My penis is small, I want it to be bigger". In fact it's never even occurred to me that this is something I ever wanted done. Which leads me to ask the question; Does size matter? Hell if I know. I hear no, then I hear yes, but no. Well what is it? It can't logically be both. If my penis is unacceptably small who's going to tell me about it? I don't expect to go into the doctor and have him shake his head and say: "Well that willy of yours is way to below average. Why don't you look through this book of photographs and pick one out that's more acceptable." I would hope that a significant other would be willing to overlook those sorts of short comings. Who is the judge? Oh I know the Kinsey report, they've determined what the average length is, but I ask again: does it matter? Whether it does or not, I'm still disturbed by the fact that the people on the other end of the email know something that I didn't even know myself about my anatomy. It leads me to believe they're watching me while I sleep, much like Santa Claus.
Teej as always good points. I'm glad to see that you're paying attention.
Joel, you know that was my gut feeling for the spelling, but I thought it was too obvious.
I've been listening to Queen lately. I like Queen, they're kind of a feel good band in a bizzare depressing way. I've been listening particularly to "Killer Queen", "Fat Bottom Girls" and "Bicycle Race" I don't know what it is about these songs but they cheer me up. The idea of a queen, who's also a super spy, the idea of going home on down by some red firelight, and the thought that they only thing in the world worth caring about is a goddamn bicycle make me smile.
I also like Phish, and to answer Deane's question, two CD's have Bouncing Around the Room, niether I own, but I should: Phish; A Live One, and Lawnboy. Lawnboy's version is a bit more sedated than a live one, but it's Phish so that's to be expected. I did once own many of thier albums, I love Phish (and fish) but they were removed from my possession by a son of bitch who stole them. I only own one Phish album, thier first one, Junta. It has both Fee and Esther on it, I really dig those songs. But I love, 'You Enjoy Me'. I have yet to figure out what they're saying at the end (I looked up the lyrics and still don't know).
I think I've decided to stop usyng "I" in the myddle of words, only at the begynyng am I goyng to do thys. I'll try it out for a week and see how it works.
So here we are. I read Joels blog, and I've been thinking about what he and Nigel (I believe that's the correct spelling Teej) said about Rush and TOOL. I think the almost hit the nail on the head. Rush was able to take rock from it's blues roots (along with a few other fantastic prog-rock bands from that era, namely Yes, but to some extent Kansas, Pink Floyd, Genesis) and really give it a 'classical' or 'art music' feel. The eighties saw bands like Styxxx and Dream Theatre carry on the idea. What sets TOOL apart is that they took this idea of prog-rock and put with death metal. The made it legitimate for radio play, albiet only on certain stations, and people have fallen in love with the idea of it again. Now I can see T.J.'s point. Rush and TOOL only have the idea of prog-rock in common. I doubt very highly that Rush had any influence on the band members of TOOL (I've read enough articles on line about TOOL and interviews to feel confidant in that statement). But given the wide gash of differences, both bands are highly talented: excelent drummers, excellent guitarists, I will have to agree Maynards a much better singer, though I do like Geddy's effiminate scratchy voice.
So in essence I like the ideas put for by "The Other Joel" and I concur.
Oh and Teej, I'm not scared of you coming to skin or mutilate any thing, because I know you fear me... You know this too. Just imagine what I'm doing with my digits right now and tremble..... tremble... I have the finger Teej and don't you forget.
"Awright, 'ow's bout a nice poke to de bumb?"
or perhaps I'm being naive and pessimistic.
I believe in an ideal woman. That is, I have in my mind the ideal woman I want to be with. Now, I can't vizualize her physically. What I have instead is a feeling. I know how she makes me feel, or at the very least a close aproximation of it. It's really a terrible thing. No woman I get involved with romantically will give me this ideal feeling. Am I being naive in my idealism. You bet I am. I recogonize it. Sad really. I know that it's foolish. Yet, I still have it.
So what is the feeling you're probalby asking yourself? Well it's hard to describe. Joy maybe. Love for sure. Happiness. Laughter. I want a woman I can laugh with. Not just one who makes me laugh, but one who can laugh with me. Share in my joy, hopefully because she feels her own sense of joy. This I think is a beautiful thing, unfortunately it's also very limiting. Where did I get the idea? I have no clue, but I do know that it is a huge limiting factor with the opposite sex.
Now quite honestly I'd like to be realistic in this one area of my life. I am in a way, in a very big way in fact. But this one thing I can't let go of. This one thing I'm hanging on to. Is it wrong? Maybe not. But it has proved challenging.
a woman was a dream i had
though rather hard to keep
for when my eyes were watching her
they closed
and i was still asleep
when my hand was holding hers
she whispered words and I awoke
and gently bouncing around the room
the words of whomever spoke
i awoke
and gently bouncing round the room
the words of whomever spoke
the place I saw was far beneath
the surface of the sea
my sight was poor
but I was sure
the sirens sang their songs for me
they dance above me as I sink
i see them through a crystal haze
and hear them bouncing round the room
the never ending coral maze
that time and once again i'm bouncing around the room.
"Bouncing around the Room" Phish
