Well, Revenge of the Sith will have to wait, as well as the original trilogy of films. The copies I had were bought for my nephew by me. He paid me for them and I ordered them from Amazon for him. He came to get them before I had a chance to watch the final film of the prequels earlier this week. So you'll have to wait a couple weeks till I pick up my own copy of the films.
Till then I'll focus on other things.
I'm not going to talk about Batmen (haven't seen it) or the horrible tragedy in Colorado (rather not give commentary to that right now) I would rather talk about...
My dog.
My dog is pretty awesome. My niece (cousin to the nephew above) found her in a little draw that she has to drive up when going home from Roosevelt. She was bedraggled and starved half to death. She took her home and fed her, give her a brush (though it only helped a small amount) and took care of her for about a month before I got her.
I'd just lost my own dog about a month and a half before, and through careful manipulation, and constant badgering my sister convinced my mother to take the dog, which they had named Shasta, with the promise to have her spayed.
So a little over 3 years ago (it was July 3rd if memory serves me correctly) Shasta was brought to the house. She was skittish, and still is around a few certain people. But mostly she was lethargic. She'd just gone through a major surgery. I fawned over her, and held her (when she got well enough to hold) and soon her and became best buddies. Now she's my constant companion when I'm home. She doesn't like to fetch, she likes to run though and man can I get her running (with surprisingly little effort on my part). We don't feed her table scraps, though she does get the occasional crust of bread or bit of cheese. (She loves cheese!) She loves her belly rubbed. Though most of the time she's doing it to show submissiveness to folks.
She's incredibly territorial. Which is usually a male dog trait. I've seen her chase dogs out of the yard that are three times her size. She doesn't fight though, and she loves to chase after the wild cats that live around the house.
I sure love her. She's probably the one thing that helps keep me sane.
Labels: Personal
Attack of the Clones: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and this Movies Sucks.
*Sigh*
Attack of the Clones
*Sigh*
For all of its flaws, The Phantom Menance manages not to piss me off. I'm not sure why, but it doesn’t.
The same cannot be said about this cluster fuck of a film.
Very briefly the plot: There are several star systems leaving the Republic because it's become too corrupt. The leader Count Dooku is a former Jedi, and is pandering to other star systems to leave as well. The Jedi are really just diplomats and ombudsmen with laser swords and can't do much against the armies of the Separatists. So Padme, now a senator, is going before the senate to propose the formation of an army. [We get all of that in the opening scrawl]. After a failed assassination attempt on Padme the Jedi Council sends Obi-Wan-Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker to guard her. Another assassination attempt is thwarted by the Jedi who chase the culprit through the city and capture her only to have her killed by her employer. Padme and Anakin are sent back to Naboo, leaving representative Jar-Jar Binks to represent the planet in the senate.
Meanwhile Obi-Wan traces down the mysterious dart to a planet called Kamino which has been deleted from the Jedi archives. After a bunch of kindergartners explain to him the obvious he leaves for Kamino where there he's told his army of clones is ready. He also discovers a bounty hunter named Jango Fett who was used as the model and is possibly the employer of the bounty hunter who tried to kill Padme. Jango flees the planet and is chased by Obi-wan. He follows him to the planet Geonosis.
On Geonosis Obi-Wan discovers that several factions in the galaxy are planning on supporting the Separatists and relays the message to Anakin who is now on Tatooine with Padme (Seems he had some nightmares and had to go find his mommy.) Back on Corucsant Jar-Jar proposes to give Chancellor Palpatine emergency powers and Palpatine agrees to form an army, which has been conveniently built on Kamino. The Jedi council gets Obi-Wan's message the same time Anakin and Padme do and they all go to rescue him, but for Yoda, who goes to get the army. Anakin and Padme get to Geonosis first and are captured and are going to be executed in an arena with the also captured Obi-Wan. The Jedi show up to rescue all three of them, but are over powered by droids and bug people. Then the cavalry shows up.
Count Dooku goes to flees but is chased by Anakin, Obi-Wan and Yoda. After a couple of fight scenes Dooku does manage to get away and flies back to Coruscant to confer with his master Darth Sidious. All is going to plan. The Republic now has an army. The Clone Wars has begun.
Wow! That was not brief, and I'm almost certain I left something crucial to the plot out. I know I left out stuff that isn't crucial or just plain boring. But wow!
I like the idea of the plot. I like the whole idea of Palpatine coming into power. It's going on during these films but is never completely the focus. Oh, we get bits and pieces to be sure, but it's not the main action for the movies. Instead we get Anakin, Obi-Wan, Padme, and a whole lot of bullshit.
First problem: Anakin! I could forgive Jake Lloyd. He was completely inexperienced, had to be coached, and is just a kid. No, there's not a lot of talent there, but he could have been a lot better had he had a better director. I can't forgive Hayden Christiansen. He's just a bad actor. Now granted, though it wasn't his first role on screen I think it may have been his first major role. The fact that George directed didn't help things neither does the script, but I'll get to that in a moment. He plays the character one note: creepy. There's no chemistry between him and Obi-Wan, or Padme for that matter. After watching the deleted scenes, I think his best scene was cut, and it's just him talking to Padme's father. It's not good, but when you've got a pile of shit, finding a rock is a reward.
Second Problem: Script! The dialogue sucks. It's not bad, it sucks. There's very few characters that come across as believable and lines that are supposed be endearing aren't. They're not written that way, and when coming out of the mouths of horrible actors, aren't delivered that way. The plot is a mangled mess, and honestly this is where the prequels should have started. There's two movies worth of plot here, just crammed into one film. I could go on about ways to improve this, and the next film, but I won't. I may someday, but not today. The honest truth is, I still find it intriguing. Brilliant even, the jockeying for power that Palpatine does. He uses everybody, and nobody knows he's doing it until after the fact. Sadly this film, as with all the prequels, is executed so poorly that you have to sort of wade through the muck to see all of that.
I think my biggest gripe with the script is that it doesn't let the actions of the characters dictate their relationships. It tells, it doesn't show. We get, what I assume is supposed to be, witty banter between Obi-Wan and Anakin, but it feels forced. It's not just the bad acting and direction that's causing that. It's the fact the lines don't read like something two people who've spent every waking day for the last 10 years together would actually say to each other. Then a character will take an action and the other character will quip about how they're always doing something like that. Its bullshit sloppy writing and most people know it.
Then there's the love story. Fuck is it boring! I mean I fell asleep tonight during a majority of the scenes on Naboo. There's just nothing believable there. Yeah, the actors don't sell it, but what do they have to work with? Not much. This also goes back to Hayden Christiansen being a bad actor however, and I honestly don't think Natalie Portman was into it... of course Anakin came over as pretty damned creepy so I don't think I would be either.
My final gripe, yeah, I'm bitching a lot with this review is the action sequences. The speeder chase? Too long. The factory scene? I HATE! HATE! HATE! That scene. Oh how I hate it? I hate it so much I could spit. You could cut that scene out and not have it affect the film in a negative way at all. It feels like I'm watching somebody play a video game honestly, and I wonder if the film makers thought to themselves "This would make a pretty sweet level in a game."
I thought The Phantom Menace was a mess of a film, but overall worth watching. I'm not sure I can give the same vote of confidence to this one. It has gorgeous vistas and eye candy, there's a plot there that's actually intriguing when taken out of the film and looked at on its own. But the dialogue is arguably worse. There's no chemistry between any of the actors (except for maybe Samuel L. Jackson and Frank Oz) and the acting itself is one note and uninteresting. It has its moments. The last 15 minutes is actually pretty cool, as is the excursion to Kamino. But cut out a majority of the love story, the ridiculous action sequences and you'd have a movie that was an hour and a half that actually focused on what mattered: The rise of Palpatine and the fall of the Jedi. I think the biggest mistake George made with these films was making Anakin such an impossibly heroic figure. "The Chosen One." Why? Why can't he just be a talented Jedi Knight. Lucas never explains how the Force is out of balance, or why. We get hand waving about the dark side being stronger, but honestly how exactly is the force out of balance? When did this happen? Who caused it? We have volumes of expanded Universe we could go to for answers to those questions, but I'd like George to answer it, and you know what? He never does.
Stay tuned for Revenge of the Sith!
Labels: Movie Reviews, StarWars
A Phantom Menace Revisited.
Oh George Lucas. You genius! You idiot savant! You gave us StarWars, and for that I think we're all grateful.
Then you went and revisited it.
Ok. Cool. We can dig it. I mean yeah you made Han shoot first and Jabba looked kind of cheesy in episode IV, but okay, the explosions were cool.
Then you made the prequels.
I hate on the prequels at times. I suppose a lot of people do. There are many who think they're okay though. A few even defend them.
For a Phantom Menace hate is too strong of a word for me. I don't hate the movie. I find it incredibly beautiful to watch actually. There's even some of the humor I smile or chuckle at when it crops across the screen.
I can level the same criticisms that everybody else does: Jake Lloyd is a poor actor. He's ten, so it's almost forgivable. Watching it tonight made me realize that some, if not most of his horrible acting can be laid at the feet of the director (George!). Some stuff was obviously coached. How it took this long for me to notice I'll never know.
Another big criticism is of course Jar-Jar. Poor Jar-Jar. I think I've been more sympathetic to him tonight then I ever have been. He's a ridiculous character. I mean the concept of him hurts my head. He's banished because he's clumsy? Those Gunguns are real shitheads. George wanted to appeal to the younger crowd. That is at least what I read in one interview after the film came out and people began to ridicule him for such a ridiculous character. That's his defense for Jar-Jar. You know what George, it's your movie. Jar-jar is what he is. Don't defend yourself, if a character, or his actions on screen are ridiculous and wholly unbelievable take the criticism. And let it go. Of course he pretty much has since the Phantom Menace came out. Jar-jar doesn't make the movie un-watchable. Most of his shenanigans are easily lifted out in fact. I have never seen it, but there is a cut of the film with most of Jake Lloyds bad direction and Jar-Jar's shenanigans cut out. "The Phantom Edit" as it's called. You could apparently find it pretty easily on the torrents at one time. I'm assuming you probably still can.
Then there's a lack of plot. There's the final criticism. I don't agree with it. There's a plot there. It's actually an intriguing one. It suffers from two problems: a complete lack of development. There's only the blurb at the beginning and then vague hints during dialogue scattered through out the movie. Why? Why not give us more? You're willing to give us unnecessary exposition through out the whole movie, primarily the characters explaining the world they live in to each other, but not more of the actual background to the plot?
The whole plot revolves around the politics of the Republic and the Palpatine jockeying for position with in the senate. Yeah. That's actually what the movies about. Which leads to the second problem, why are the Jedi the protagonists? I mean, I know why they are. It makes sense in context of making the prequels, they are the most exciting characters, but really the plot doesn't involve them in a direct way. George could have made them more directly involved, which would have given Palpatine more screen time (which I'm in favor of honestly) as well as the Jedi council and a bunch of politicians. It would have made a less interesting movie for the kids. So instead we get the plot it has, which is the most important part of the film, going on in the background with two characters that have nothing to do but fight in the foreground. Funny enough, I can't help but think a little editing would help that out as well.
Over all the movie's not bad. Not nearly as bad as I remember anyway. Not good, but not bad. That being said. If you're going to revisit the movies do yourself a favor and start with Episode 1V, then V, then go back to the prequel trilogy. Yeah, I know I didn't bring up the racism accusations with the alien characters, or the horrible acting from a few of the other actors (I'm looking at you Natalie Portman, I'm looking at you.) But if you've seen the movie, and if you're a StarWars fan you have. You already know all of this. All that being said, it's still a gorgeous film. I love that I can get lost in that world still. Yeah it might not be the same experience that the original movie was/is, but it's still magical.
Labels: Movie Reviews, StarWars
