In fact, when I do get nervous, it is usually a faint twinge of doubt and second guessing right before places are called. And even then it fades quickly.
When I do get nervous, when fear strikes my heart beats a little quicker and my stomach revolts against it's self, I find myself unaccustomed to it any more.
The last time I got nervous before a performanc, genuine anxiety, was about a year ago.
It was last year when I did Tracers.
Tracers was an incredible play.
It gave a voice to soldiers serving in vietnam, it pulled in a human element.
Not only did the audience care for the characters, but we the actors genuinely cared for the characters too.
I was nervous because of the potential of the play to be awe-inspiring, and also because of the acting challenge it presented.
Every character is a challenge, every role is a different experience.
But some are like looming walls that beg to be scaled.
The script to Tracers was something of a challenge, but it is nothing compared to Last Tuesday.
Last Tuesday has many things in common Tracers: the potential to be breathtaking, eyeopening. Being able to identify with the characters and thier lives, even though you know nothing about them. And the director.
Same director, challenging script.
For me this is the most challenging script I've ever been handed. The lines were intensly difficult to memorize, the pacing must be dead on.
The character is also unlike any other. I alone talk to no one on stage for nearly the entire play.
I do converse, the entire time is spent on my cell phone.
Sound boring?
Well, it isn't. You gleem alot from the character through his conversation with his wife.
But that is all you are presented with.
At the same time, a husband and wife discuss their schedules for the next few weeks.
You get alot of info about them too.
This is a play about people, and tragedy, and society.
It is very common man, but metaphorical in a deep way.
I love the play, but to be honest it frightens me to death.
In two hours I'll be performing it.
I just hope I can calm my rim-fire nerves before then.
posted by F.G. Shaw @ 5:09 PM
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