Snippitts of Illusions

Nothin's quite what it seems in the city of dreams,

It’s strange, moving on. It’s something we all must do in order to continue to thrive both mentally and even physically.

Problem is, moving on isn’t easy to do.

It’s damned hard, and most (all) people fear change, especially when the change is an abrupt one or drastic one.

But change, whether it comes by our own initiative or by instances beyond our control, is a fact of life.

Don’t make it easier.

It’s time for change. It’s time to move on.

For me, in many ways, it’s time to move on.

I’m moving this summer.

It’s an open secret. Some people know about this, others, this might be your first time reading about it. Still others... well you’re not reading, but I’ll tell you soon.

It’s time for me to leave Logan. I’m leaving with out a degree, the original goal of me coming here. I’m also not leaving feeling like a failure, which is maybe why I waited.

I’m leaving because, sadly, Logan is suffocating me. I can’t grow here any more. All I can do is wallow in what has become self propagating misery.

That’s not healthy for any one.

I’m not leaving Logan forever. Though if I do return to live (not visit, which I plan to do frequently) it will be for the intended goal of finishing (or getting) a degree nothing else.

But staying here is no longer beneficial for me. I’ve no family here. Though I’ve many good friends here many are moving on. And though I’m actively involved in theatre here, I can only grow more in that aspect by actually taking classes, which I can’t afford to do at this time.

I’m also leaving because, quite honestly, it’s time to close a chapter on my life. I’m a much different person now than I was when I first came up here. I’m a much different person than one I started doing theatre. It’s time to go into the big wide open and see what kind of person I am.

Sometimes in order move forward, you have to take a step back.

I’m moving to Roosevelt Utah. Small town, 3000 people, next largest city has only about 10,000 and is 30 minutes away. In many ways I’m looking forward to it. I understand the mentality out there. I grew up there, so it’s no surprise. The arts are flourishing out there, but I can create there, if left to my own devices.

Will I be happy there? For a time, probably, but the point is to discover where to go next.

If I was still dating the wonderful girl I was dating three months ago, that would be a no brainer, but we parted ways, and I’m taking it one step at a time now.

The first step is moving. Which I'll be doing in July, the 19th or the 20th. That'll be my last weekend as a resident of Logan.

The next step is earning money: job, and another idea I’ll save for later, that I’m rather excited for. I’m leaving friends here. That hurts. I’m leaving a lot of good memories. That hurts too. I tend to hang on to things, to people. So this isn’t an easy thing for me.

But I’m looking forward to it overall.

From there... who knows? The point is, it’ll be an adventure.

Sometimes that’s all that matters.

posted by F.G. Shaw @ 11:42 PM