Snippitts of Illusions

itchy finger blues

My finger itches.

My pointer finger on my left hand. It itches whenever I touch it. It's not a constant itch, only present on physical contact, typically with myself, but I can almost always start scratching it and have the itch rise to the surface and become intolerable.

The thought has crossed my mind that this may be a bad thing.

It's been going on for.... months. Maybe even a year or more. I'm not sure exactly when this started but it's seems to be a constant. There's almost a dull pain to it. Even that's not a constant, but it's still present. With all that in mind what does it mean? I dunno. Maybe I have a brain tumor. That would suck, but I don't have any other weird neurological things going on that would make me worry about that. Maybe I'm just crazy. That thought has crossed my mind and given my family history of mental illness isn't entirely absurd.

I've consulted my dog on this manner and she is strangely silent on the subject.

So with the pad of my finger itching, when it's being touched (there is a subtle itch when I think about it as well, but not so much that I have the urge to scratch) I find myself scratching it with ridiculous pressure and vigor. I'm reminded of the folks on bad acid trips scratching their skin bloody because of the ants they can see and feel. Or the story of the woman who had a constant itch on the top of her head and scratched a hole through her skull.

That's serious business.

I've thought about the possibility that I may scratch a trench in my finger tip. That would be a hard one to explain to the doctor. "It itched so I scratched it till i hit bone." Yeah. Probably not a good idea. That may lead down the path of institutionalization.

I suppose I should seek medical help. But I suspect the doctor's will want to run a smorgasbord of tests on me which I am mostly convinced are only be requested to line their pockets with insurance money. Not that they wouldn't be sincere in wanting to help me, they would be. But the actual help that I would get would be a recommendation to a specialist. Yeah. That's what I thought doc.

I suppose if it becomes any more... intense I will seek out medical help. With out that finger I won't be able to accurately point to shit when gesturing.

And learning to type with out it will be a real pain in the ass.

Labels: Personal

posted by F.G. Shaw @ 1:07 AM