Snippitts of Illusions

I'm awake right now when all other sensible people are asleep. There are others awake now too, either because they're jobs require them to stay up all night, or because they have to get up early to go to work. I'm up because I'm either: A) Stupid, or B) I like the night. I think it might be a little of both. The terrible thing is, I have a day job. So me being awake right now isn't a good thing. But so the cycle begins again. I start every week off like this, and it continues through out the week. Four or five hours of sleep, work, hanging out doing what ever strikes my fancy. Then back to bed again at 3;30 or 4 in the morning. This goes on for about three, maybe four days. Then I crash. One night I'll just zonk out at about 8 o'clock, and I'll be asleep till the next day. The next couple of nights I'm back to the old rutinue, then the week end hits, and the cycle repeats. This is unhealthy, and I need to quit, but I'm not going to.

This habit of mine of staying up too late may be the contributing factor to the sureality of my world. Hence the title of my blog. My world, the one I experience as a person, the one I interact with and percieve, is a uneven cycle of surrealistic and realistic moments. I know what's going is real, and I don't hallucinate, well there was once or twice on no sleep for 48 hours, but otherwise, I'm sane. There are however, many moments that shouldn't be real, but definitely are. Then of course there is the matter of my mind. I make strange associations at times. In fact it happens more often than not. Some-one will say something about a automobile engine, and I'll take that and relate it to foodfights with chocolate pudding in a prison in France. Sometimes, this is scary, the connections actually make sense. Most of the time they don't. So for those of you who know me, and I sometimes start laughing, or I make a complete non-sequitor statement. There's probably, in reality a connection to the conversation at hand, just not one that would make sense to any one but me.

It probably boils down to my lack of sleep. If I got more, maybe my mind wouldn't be so far afield. But then, I might get bored...

posted by F.G. Shaw @ 4:55 AM